Since I am living in this house full time now, I thought it appropriate to change it from a crash pad to an actual house that looks lived in...so we bring some furniture up from the other house, and now we work on getting the interior painted, granite on the counter tops, and replacing all the appliances (I really really hate black appliances). So the funny part is the color blind guy with absolutely no fashion sense is picking out the colors. All I know is the Johnson County beige is gone! So all around the house there are little patches of different colors to see what I "think" looks good. Honestly all I want its a calming and relaxing place to hangout with the kids. We have turned the formal dining room (who has those anymore?) into a family/hangout room and the living room is for lying on the big couches and watching TV or whatever. It's starting to feel like home for the first time in the almost 4 years that I have owned it.
Treatment # 75 went off without any complications. Blood counts were really low the week before, but bounced back by Monday. 13 days on pills and 1 more infusion and then a short break before Houston. Fatigue seems to be my biggest problem right now. I seem to wake up at 4 am every morning. Really kind of a PIA, but that's OK, I can usually go back to sleep for a few hours.
Picked up my new bike last week, once my Fat Boy is repainted in Voodoo Purple and has the graphics applied, I will have two in the garage. Loving the street glide special and the weather has been wonderful. I have been riding everyday the past week. It's a great bike, way different from the Fat Boy. Would have made my long trip this fall different, but it was but fun on the softail. Got a few more trips planned coming up.
The kids absolutely love riding on the motorcycle. They both want me to take them to school in it. I am leaving them the bikes once I am gone, I hope they enjoy them for years to come.
Emotionally I knew this was going to be a tough time. With the changes in my life and a trip to Houston looming I knew there would be some anxious times. Like I have always said, I just get through them. I don't really on others for my self worth, I don't put on a facade to make everything look like my life is great. For all intents and purposes it is still fractured and I am still hurting, but I am the happiest I have been in years. Think about it, I do have a not job, yet make plenty of money to support myself, I have no one to answer to besides myself (and my mother from time to time), and I get to see my kids almost everyday of the week. Besides this cancer and chemo crap, I really have nothing to complain about. Ok, my hair is getting a bit thinner, but who cares! 28 months after I was supposed to be dead and I'm still kicking. I am truly blessed.
Sorry no profound thoughts tonight, just a long winded update.
#neversurrender #nevergiveup
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