Sounds like a simple question...where is your happiness? My answer is my children. I can honestly that watching them leave and go to their moms, regardless for how long, breaks my heart, but is that my real happiness. If I was to be honest with myself then my happiness is not my children, it's being me..
You see as flawed humans we can search for happiness all over the place, in our children in the opposite sex, in sex itself, in money, in social position, in being a better parent than someone else...
What if everything that you did not need to survive was taken away and all you had was enough food and water to keep you alive, and it was just you, no one to talk to, no children, no cell phone, no internet, just you. Think of Tom Hanks without a volleyball!
Stop and think about that for a moment...some would love the piece and quiet, but for how long? An hour, half a day, a day, then what? Some would be scared to death...because they don't know their happiness. Strip away everything in our life, and I mean everything, what do we have? God's love.
We have a love, an Agape love that is unconditional love, that does not come and go based on how we act,or how we feel..it's there no matter what. That is our happiness, that we are a child of God who loves us and who's plan for us is good. That's not saying we won't have tough times, but those plans are for good.
Think of it in this way...in a pie, god's love is that wonderful pie crust. Most people take it for granted thinking that it's there to hold the pie together, and in truth it is, but how many people comment on how good the crust is versus the filling, or the streusel, or the whipped cream? I have never seen it, but try serving up an pumpkin pie with no crust.
So whats the point besides I really want pie @ 4:00 am. The point is that you have to be happy as you, and only you. Not happy as parent, spouse, coach, friends, etc, etc...you have to be happy with where God has you right now, knowing that his plan for you is good, to take solace in
that and feel good in your core, in every ounce of blood that gets pumped through you. I know I struggle with this on a very consistent basis. All the external things in life could be gone in an instant, your spouse could be gone, your children, your friends. I have seem some amazing outpouring of help and love from friends, and that is a sight to see, but how do you feel when they are not around and it's just you?
Use God's Agape love as your your true happiness, as your pie crust. Find the part of you that makes you happy, the fact that you are loved by a truthful and loving god (how many people can say that they have always been loved by a truthful and loving human...I doubt any of us). As you build your pie crust, add those toppings, add in a spouse, add in children, add in friends. Those pieces contain happiness too, but they are not unconditional, they are from flawed humans just like yourself.
I struggle with this same realization, that my happiness, my reason for breathing each day is my children, and while it sounds good, it's not the reason. The reason is that my God is not done with my on earth, that his Agape love still cradles me. I have to learn that my being alive is my happiness. Yes I love my kids more than anything in this world, but they are not guaranteed, and can I really love them if I don't have my own happiness in perspective first?
You are your own happiness because of the love that God gives you. When you don't feel like there is happiness in your life, look up, look all around you....see whats been created by the same God that loves you. All the beauty in the world from the same God that knew you by name before you were even in the womb, and knows how many hairs are on your head. Love, Agape Love, Unconditional Love...it is there you will find real happiness.