Sunday, November 29, 2015

So this is Christmas...

Well, I find myself in the same position I have been in the past four this my last Christmas with my kids?

 I have the same question from everything as insignificant to if I will get to use the boat next summer, do I get to see my children's birthdays, school events, etc, etc, etc...

At the end of the day, I have no say or control in those questions..and that is hard to accept as someone that has always wanted to be in control, to plan out the future.  The interesting thing is that I have given up control of things like that and I focus on today, focus on the people in my life, focus on enjoying the things I can enjoy in my life.  Seeing things in a different way than when my life was was going to consist of growing old.  Want to know whats interesting...this is the happiest I have been in a decade!  Virtually no stress, doing what I feel like doing, spending time with my kids.  I spent at least an hour wrestling on the floor with them today.  It wore me out, bur we were all laughing and I loved it!

I used to judge my happiness by the happiness I could provide others...I am not responsible for others happiness, only mine.  Of course there are things that I wish I could experience again, but not experiencing those things does not make my life any less valuable or meaningful, just different that what I had planned.

This is an off week for chemo so it should be as normal as I get.  Got a pretty busy week planned and a project to work on next weekend.  This is a project that I know will make a couple boys so excited on Christmas morning.  I would give anything to see the look on their faces...that's what is important to me.  Making someone smile, make someones day, being a friend that someone knows that they are safe around.

Is this my last Christmas? At the end of the day it does not matter. The date on calendar does not matter, having an impact on peoples lives is the purpose of each and every ones of our lives.

#nevergiveup  #neversurrender

Monday, November 23, 2015

I've lost count

More chemo tomorrow...I've lost count...either 73 or 74, either way to darn much! Oh's the price to pay for staying on the right side of the dirt!

Gratitude and appreciation has been going through my mind recently, and then had a conversation about it tonight.  A lot of things that we do we do not expecting anything in return, which is the right way to go about it, but what if that person shows us gratitude or appreciation, what does that do to my case it makes me want to do more for more people.

We all want to be loved, that is the most basic of fears, to not be loved.  If you are like me you understand and believe that God is love, Agape love, never ending love, but what about love from another human.  I'm not talking about love in the form of romance, love in the form of "I love you as a person, what can I do for you" with no expectations.

One of the best things you can do for someone when they love you and are a benefit in your life is show your gratitude and appreciation.  Sometimes our pride gets in the way, but just that little effort can turn an ordinary act into something that makes them smile or brightens their day.  Maybe it's as easy as saying thank you when someone holds the door, or when someone says hi, ask them how their day is going...your showing your appreciation for them saying something as simple as hi.  My friends that's love, that's love for your fellow man, that Agape love.

With all the crap in the world don't we owe that to each other, to love each other as we love our own family, to help those we can help, and to show gratitude and appreciation to those that help us.

So I would challenge you this Thanksgiving week, go beyond and show you gratitude and appreciation to those around you.  I bet you will see a lot more smiles!

Happy Thanksgiving!

#nevergiveup  #neversurrender

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Finish Well

Someone once told me "Finish Well"  It was a direct comment to how I finish my life, what legacy do I leave behind.  When someone talks to my kids about what kind of man I was what do they say?

It's easy to donate money and have your name on a building or  scholarship fund, but what it is that we all have in common...time.

I will fully admit that I did not start well, and until recently I did not utilize the time given to me very effectively.  I was selfish, it was my time and I deserved to do with it as I pleased.

Once I started to give freely of my time, that most precious gift, I started to fell the change in my mind and in my spirit...I felt a purpose that I had not felt before, I laughed more, I was happy, content, full of purpose.

Money is fleeting, just as a long list of pro athletes, musicians, and lottery winners.  We all have 86400 seconds in a day, no more, no less.  It's up to you to figure out how to use them.  Are you selfish and choose to use them for yourself, or do you give those precious seconds to you kids, your family, your friends, strangers?  It's up to you.

So back to the original statement "Finish Well"  I often wonder how people would describe me to my kids after I'm gone.  Would it be "he donated a lot of money and has his name on this or that building"?  I would rather it be "your father was a man that gave not only of his resources, but of his time, he gave to those that needed it, those who thought they didn't, and those that never know he did"

For me part of finishing well is how I show my kids death.  I want them to see that I trust in God that we will cradle me in his arms and that he will say to me "Well done good and faithful servant"

I want to finish well, and I hope you do as well.