What are you supposed to think when everyday you drive by the funeral home that you know you will be lying in someday?
What are you supposed to think when you go to mass in the same church that your funeral will be held in?
How are you supposed to react when people tell you that you don't look like your sick, but you know that your body is starting to break down....
How do you face your own impending death?
Is it better to know that your not going to grow old (funny I am jealous of the group of old men sitting having coffee at McDonalds in the mornings), or is it better to not know and just be gone one day. Both have their advantage and disadvantages...but in the end does it really matter? Are we all not dying, taking one more breath that gets us closer to our last?
I have always said I am not a statistic, but the truth is that I am. I could be part of the 1% that lives 5 years or more after diagnosis, or I might not be. Either way I am a statistic.
In the mean time I will do what I have done for 3+ years...go to bed hoping that I wake up the next day. One of these days I won't, and thats ok. Maybe I have touched a few lives along the way, made a few people laugh, maybe not.
The world was here long before me, and will be here long after I am gone...just a grain of sand on a long white beach.