Monday, October 12, 2015

12 hours from now...

12 hours from now, with a little luck I will be seeing my kids faces light up as they are fully immersed into Disney.  I can't tell you how much I have wanted this day, how excited I am to see their faces light up and hear the "dad, you gotta see this", or "dad,  I'm not sure I want to ride that "(followed by Dad saying, "you don't have a choice, get out of your comfort zone"  Most importantly I am selfish and I want those memories, those firsts, to be with me, so that maybe when they have kids and they take them there they might just remember their dad.  I know it is going to be great, it is what you make of it, so it's going to be great.  Fortunately I have two great kids who understand that although dad looks pretty healthy, 12 hour + days are not possible, so I am sure there will be some pool tine and relaxing time.

The next two weeks are busy, the trip to Disney, come home spend the following week trying to the other house cleaned out and ready to be sold, move some furniture and things back up to KC, family pictures, all finished up by Purple Light on the 25th.  There is a whole lot of conflicting emotion in that 14 days.

Through everything in my life I know one thing, that I am blessed. Not because I have more or less than anyone else, not because I am better than someone or they are better than me, I am blessed because I am where God wants me to be. I try and never regret the decisions that I make (ok, maybe a few involving bad hangovers the next day).  The decisions that we make in our lives makes us who we are.  I can tell you that if I did not get divorced from the kids mom I would have been one of those uninvolved fathers, to busy working.  I would like to think I am a much better father because my time with them is so precious, add in another failed marriage and Cancer and I know things are never certain, so I try and be the best dad I can...not doing what they want me to do, but doing the best job I can to raise good kids into good grownups, and maybe one day good parents of their own.  Maybe along that journey I get to hear "dad! you have to see this" and "dad, that ride was so cool, can we do it again" Material items will come and go, but the memories and how someone makes you feel last so very much longer.

#nevergiveup  #neversurrender

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